our man in amsterdam page 5

So, dr steve had to go to munich to check on his work,.. gumby did the anne frank house and heiniken- and i tried to sleep.

before trying one of the most trying events of the trip- getting money from the states via western union.

so first i tried to sleep but as in the new pacino movie insomnia when it';s light outside its hard to get to sleep especially for me who doesnt seep very sondly unless i am next to my week-end partner debbi- so ican disturb her from beyond the realm of consciousness. so i wake up.. and look in the foreign written(dutch) phone book- which is almost like watching sesame street for the first time- cant find western union -so i call the post office or potskonter... and once they learn i am an american the line goes dry and i feel like the woman who has to ride on the back of the bus.i find out llater that western union only existsin the minds of americans and it is called something entirely different- oh the hell i went through for a lousy $50.00

oh well it coul dbe landscaping!.. to no avail i lovccate the post konter and respond to the helping folks back home- mainly my debbi who tried online and in frustratin called them direct and voila...the next day- 50.00 for me-- but not after a long train ride to another city thinkin it was the only destination- oh how themind -plays tricks on the sleepy!

so gumby arrives on scene complete with heiniken souvies like bottle openers and keychains and a 5 dollar drunk that lasted and blasted him into the next night sleeping it off while we mery pranksters descendined on the city of the dammned in fine style...The wrench the heathen and myself you rhumbl narrator board a bus to downton amsterdam again in pupursuit of wine women and song-- well not that particular list but as you can tell i dont have the procliviity to pronounce or choose a helathier staatement thatn that withcoming.... we ditch the train at thecentral station and hea dot the world famous and now famous with me grasshopper and purchase a nights worth of jolly up in the form of fine tobacco and magical substances ( i might add do not like the tobacco in the equation so i opt out - unlike dionne warwick who was stopped at the old fly port and with a probe up her ptrivate belongings relinquished 12 joints from same establisment i am told-when are the officials going to get the idea - as the trend began somewhere in the late 60's i never see it clearing itself in teh good ol usa which preaches freedom to the extent taht in some states you can have a doctor end your life, you can smoke chemical sprayed tobacco, drink alcohol that may lead to violent behaviour but cannot partake in breathing the smoke from a cannibas fire a naturally ocuring substance much like catnip or the humans even the pets get better treatment in some cases under the red white and blue than do the inhabitants and rent payers or better yet tax payers- no need to be redundant matt.. there is a highprice for freedom and it is our freedom that they take in trade.

so as we make yet another lap of theworld famous red light district the girls know us and recognise the tell tale mohawk of one mr allen wrench one of the only non doctors among us... and wave like we are family at a reunion and psess better liquids than are offered at such fetes and grilles..much to our dismay its not so much whats behind the pockets but what sin them is what these birds are after..and probably figuring that since gumby was not in tow that evening our apetite for the small biuts wpould be at an all time high.... what was on an all time high was the bumstead who kept trying to sell us pieces of plastic thinly disguised as crack cocaine...which doesnrt interest this writer in the least as it hinders the lower 40 of my person and we wouldnt want that now would we? those drugs truly suck the life outta you...take it from a guy who is getting good a arrangingmemorials and funerals for those trying to beat keith richard at intake tolerances......soon usmetal wil have to have a memorial section for the fallen...click here for cheerier moods and the next episode...